Hello and Happy Friday!
Just wanted to give you a quick update here before the weekend...
We went and met with Patti Lewis at Alexandra's House on Wednesday night. She was warm and very supportive of the decision that we have made to continue our pregnancy. She asked lots of questions, provided gentle counsel, and suggested some things that we might want to think about prior to our delivery date....it was a good discussion and not as much of a downer as I had thought it might be....mostly because many of you were praying for us, I am sure. So thank you.
As a part of our visit, we got to see many pictures of the babies and families that have been through Alexandra's House, and it was incredible. Even though these babies weren't "normal" by society's standards, they were each absolutely beautiful. God's hand in creating them was so evident as you looked at their peaceful faces, some living, some having moved beyond this world. In many of the pictures, the babies were cradled in their parents' hands or arms...and in most photos, the parents were smiling, which is incredible to me....further evidence of the grace and strength God will provide us in that moment. Patti also encouraged us to let Connor and Kylee come to the hospital to meet their baby brother...she says that children don't see what the world sees...and that we should allow them the opportunity to be a big brother and big sister, because that is, after all, what they are. We're still pondering this one, but I know that the thought of our three children in the room all together is one that evokes great emotion in me...and if it's a vision that I won't get to have for long, maybe I should snag it while I can...
We do plan on having pictures of our son taken by a photographer from Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep...they have a website if you want to see some of their work. These photographers volunteer their service for families like ours...www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org...get out your kleenex and have a look at these precious babies.
Jan did a sonogram for us this afternoon, and once again, our little man was kicking, poking, and prodding throughout the whole session. We did a get a good picture of his face, which is so precious to us. Jan scanned us for almost an hour, and it was such a gift (as it always is) to see his heartbeat on the screen. She tells us that she doesn't know what she is doing...but let me tell you what precious moments she provides us with, regardless of her feelings about her competence....knowing that we may not get to know our baby for long outside of the womb makes these moments even more sacred to us...we are so thankful for her time, and for the Women's Center that allows us into their space....
Next week will be a relatively quiet week. We found out that our insurance will not cover the cost of an autopsy after the baby is born, so in an effort to find out if the baby's kidney function is the cause of the lack of fluid, I am going to have a MRI done on Tuesday morning in the hopes that maybe it will provide us an answer about the root of the problem. I am scared that this procedure will only bring more bad news...but at the same time, how much worse can it be, and we feel that gaining as much knowledge as we can is important....I am guessing we will have to wait a few days for results following the scan, but we will certainly let you know what we find out.
I have remained in decent spirits this week. We will celebrate Brandon's 31st birthday this weekend, which we are all really excited about. Mother's Day will be tough this year...both because my own mother isn't here, and because my littlest one isn't healthy....but I am so grateful to celebrate this holiday with Brandon, Connor, and Kylee...God's greatest gifts to me.
Speaking of, Connor and Kylee are doing very well, and I want to post some pictures of them this weekend. Kylee got a new haircut this week that makes her look about a year older. Connor's school took a field trip out to the Shatto Dairy Farm a couple weeks ago, and I have some fun photos of that as well.
And the band plays on....
Happy Mother's Day to all you Mommies out there! :)
3 comments:
I wanted to mention the "Now I Lay me down to sleep" program to you but was waiting for the right time. I am so happy you are going to use there services if needed. I have had a personal experiece with them and they do great work.
About a month ago I lost a little baby boy at work and I got to hold him as he went to the Lords home. It was one of the hardest things I have done but looking at the baby gave me such strength. I can not imagine how much harder it would be if it was my child. But I want you to know that time you have is so special.
I know you want your son to be checked out and maybe even brought to CMH, but I pray that if God brings yor son home right away that you will be able to hold him for as long as your want to.
I know I am rambeling but after the little boy I took care of had passed, Now I lay be down to sleep came and took lots of pictures and these were some of the most beautiful pictures I have ever seen. Pictures are so important to have later to look at and to share your sons life with others.
I admire your courage and I also want to let you know that we do some other things at the hospital when a baby passes that allow parents to create memories of their little one. If you are interested please let me know and we can talk about it. I hope I am not saying too much. Know I am still praying that your little one will prove the doctors wrong and be stronger than ever.
You are in my thoughts and Prayers.
Thank you for sharing your life this way - your thoughts and emotions about what you are going through. I am amazed at how clearly you can communicate it all.
Although I know each time I sit down to read an update I will be reading it through tears, I also know that I will be inspired by your courage and your faith.
Please know you are supported and cared for and you are always in my prayers.
I hope your Mother's day was a special one for you. I am praying for you and for your family as you wait to meet your baby. I am so thankful for you to have compassionate people in your life right now, helping you share the precious life of this baby. His life matters so much to so many. Praying for peace and guidance for you in the days ahead.
Love, Laurie in Ca.
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