Saturday, May 31, 2008

A Reprieve...

Hello!

We spent our Memorial Day weekend in Colorado visiting Brandon's folks. It was a wonderful chance to escape the daily routine around here...and a bit of a distraction from all that has consumed us for the last two months.

The kids had a great time, and we did, too. We took a trip to the Denver Zoo, the kids went to Chuck E. Cheese's with Grandpa and Grandma while Mommy and Daddy enjoyed an evening out, we roasted marshmallows...and just had a nice, relaxing visit. We attended church with Aaron and Rachel on Sunday and were overwhelmed by the people that knew us because they have been praying for us faithfully throughout this ordeal. It was humbling and reassuring.

One of the highlights of the trip for Connor was a fishing excursion with Grandpa and Daddy. He caught three Sunfish, and we just had to share this video of catch #3 with you (see the end of this post). Watch all the way through to the end...it's worth a chuckle.

I have been feeling well and we are now 28 weeks along. Caden is breech, so most of the time, I have a head poking me in the ribs. I am definitely starting to feel some of the discomforts of later pregnancy, but I try to be grateful for every moment...a month from now, we will get to hold this precious baby boy in our arms. The kids are more aware of the baby now, as my belly has grown a bit over the last few weeks...they both got to feel Caden move in my tummy last night and were very excited.

We told Connor about the name that we'd picked out for his brother, and, as usual, he handled it with a grace that defies his age. He said "Even though he will be born dead, he still needs a name!" (excuse the harshness of that, but those of you who are familiar with what an honest and up-front age 5 is understand). We talked about heaven, and how if Caden couldn't be here with us on earth, we wanted him to go straight up to be with Jesus. He agreed.

I had an AMAZING sonogram with Jan before we left town. She got several great shots of Caden's face, and at one point, we even got to see him put his hands in his mouth and suck on his fingers. He also opened and closed his mouth several times while we were watching...almost as if he was saying "Hi, Mom!". Brandon had to work late, so Jan and I got to enjoy the moment together, and bawled our eyes out. It was incredible.

We are supposed to be having a 3D sonogram this week. A local company called Prenatal Imaging offers them free of charge to Alexandra's House families. They have told us that it is the amniotic fluid that gives them the depth that they need for the third dimension, so the sonogram may not work for us, but we are going to try. It has struck me how badly I want this to work, as our time with him Caden be so short, so any glimpses of him alive and well are so precious...please say a prayer that somehow, the images will come across. I am frightened that this will be just another disappointment, but want to see this little guy bad enough to try. If the pictures do work, we will be sure to share them with you. It will be on Thursday at 6:00 pm.

I am in full swing with the summer session up at Jewell, and Brandon is doing well at work, too. Connor and Kylee are outdoors for every moment they can be, and it has been great to have Connor out of school. Summer school starts for him on June 9th, so we are going to enjoy our schedule-less existence for as long as we can. :)

Hope this finds you all doing well and enjoying the sunshine. THANK YOU so much for all your e-mails and comments on our blog. It means so much to us that you take time to check in and offer your encouragement. We pour over the comments and love to hear what you have to say. We are so blessed.

I found this verse and thought it was especially applicable:

"Out of the believer's heart shall flow rivers of living water."
John 7:38

We pray that the waters in your life are flowing freely.

4 comments:

Laurie in Ca. said...

So good to check in and see you here!
It sounds like your get away was just what you needed to refresh and renew your spirits. I love that your sonogram let you peek into Caden's world, safe and sound and see him just doing what babies do. Good for the tears too, they can be so restoring. I am praying specifically for your 3D sonogram this week, for perfect images to come across, and that fluid will not be an issue in imaging. I want this to work for you too. Love Connors fishing video, too cute.:)
My prayers continue for you as you prepare to meet little Caden and hold him in your arms. Blessings to you and your family this coming week.

Love, Laurie in Ca.

Anonymous said...

Laurie in CA says it all!
ELW

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure that this will comfort C-Diggity, but you can tell him that Robyn is 30 and still frequently scared if forced to touch a fish.

I'm so happy to hear that Colorado was a time for some peace. All of the Carlsons and McKinney's, and especially Caden, are in my thoughts and prayers each day.

Love you all- Robyn and Ben

Hope said...

A friend of mine sent me an email about your family last night. My heart goes out to you. Your story is almost exactly the same as ours. Our precious daughter was born March 28, 2002 and lived for a few hours. She was diagnosed with bilateral renal agenesis at 16 weeks gestation. She was born at 36 weeks gestation. Those were the most amazing months of my life. Every kick was bittersweet. You know exactly the feeling. I wish I had cherished those moments more than I did, but even still, we had her with us for those 8 months and I was changed more than in the prior 24 years of my life. God is able to do abundantly more than we can ever imagine. He is faithful even when we can't see it. He has proven Himself faithful in more ways than I can count. The greatest part is that He didn't have to prove Himself to me, but He did! Keep focused on Him and He will give you the strength and courage and comfort that you need during this time. I would love to talk with you some if you desire. I have just read some of your posts and it sounds like you are surrounded by a great group of support. If you need more, feel free to contact me either through my blog or email. You and your family will be in my prayers.

Hope Vogel