Haddie Lou, How We Love You!

One year ago today, at this precise moment, the contractions were kicking in.

We had an early start to our morning, getting up around 5:30 am to get everyone up and loaded into the Durango for the trip to St. Luke's South for our 7:00 am induction. As is typical at our house, Brandon got up and showered first, then came to rouse me. I had slept remarkably well considering what the day would bring. I showered and did my hair (the logic of that escapes me...it's like styling your hair prior to going out to run a marathon), and Brandon woke Connor and Kylee up. We greeted them with "today's the day we get to meet Hadley!". The energy in our home was full of anticipation and excitement.

We loaded up the car and headed to Panera to grab a quick breakfast. As we drove down I-435, I tried to be especially conscious of Hadley inside me. I wanted to be aware because the last few moments of your life you spend pregnant should be carefully observed, I felt.

We pulled into the St. Luke's parking lot right at 7:00 am. It was great to be back there. We have celebrated all of the births in our family at that hospital...the place holds incredible memories for us. We stopped to take a picture in front of the birthing center entrance. I was careful to take it all in...after our last experience with childbirth, we wanted to soak up each and every moment of this one in an especially conscious way. Also adding to the significance of the day was the fact that it was my Grandpa Haneke's birthday, too. We were going to get to honor him by having a baby that would share his birthday.

We rode up to Labor and Delivery in the elevator. "We're here for an induction!" we told the secretary. We signed in and were escorted back to our room. We had a HUGE room. The view out our window overlooked the Overland Park landscape...we could see Target! :) The sun was peeking through the clouds...it was going to be a typical July day.

I changed into my gown and we got Connor and Kylee dressed. They were excited to be with us...and asked repeatedly when they would get to meet Hadley. It was so much fun.

Shortly after 7:30, my nurse, Jessica, came in to meet us. She started my IV, drew my blood, and got me all hooked up to the monitor. We listened to Hadley's heartbeat...a sound that never got old. I was so thankful that this time, there would be no question as to whether or not we wanted our baby monitored throughout the labor process.

At 8:00, our beloved nurse midwife, Jeane, came to see us. My sister Sarah came and picked the kids up. Jeane broke my water (which I feel like is equivalent to firing a pistol at the start of a race...an "and we're off!" sort of thing) and checked me. I was dilated to a "1". The Pitocin was started.

By about 10:30, contractions were coming regularly. I have a bad habit of waiting too long for my epidural, making the whole process much more miserable than it needs to be. This time, both Brandon and Jeane were insistent that I get my epidural sooner rather than later (they could insist since they were the ones that had to bear the brunt of me in previous labors when I got the epidural while experiencing painful contractions, feeling like I wanted to barf in later stages of the labor process). I thought I could wait a little while longer, but conceded. It was a smart move. Epidurals help my body relax and do its job better.

Around 10:45, the epidural process started. It was a nightmare. I had a death grip on Brandon the whole time, with sweat pouring down my face and tears following the drops of sweat very closely. THAT was the worse pain I felt in labor...like lightening bolts travelling throughout my body as they attempted to place the catheter in my back. It is amazing my husband has any chest hair left.

After the second attempt, Jeane asked the supervising physician to give it a try (in a very kind, but no-nonsense sort of way). The epidural was in before I knew it. Ah, sweet relief. Jeane checked me and I was about a "4".

Jeane went and grabbed she and Brandon some lunch (along with being the best midwife ever, she is also a close friend). They ate lunch and we watched old episodes of Family Ties. I dozed in and out of slumber, blissfully ignorant of the contractions that I was having. Jeane sat right beside me, watching the monitor closely. She had scheduled our induction on her day off so she could devote herself fully to us. She knew that emotions would be running high and wanted to do everything she could to make it a beautiful and positive birth experience....and for me, a large part of that was having her right there. We are so grateful for her dedication and service to us.

Around 2:30 pm, Jeane's eyebrows furrowed as she looked at the monitor. She looked at me and said "Are you feeling any pressure?" "I think so," I replied.

She checked me and said "That's because you're ready to have a baby! She's right here!"

Brandon called our family.

Jeane had recently joined a new practice and had to have her deliveries supervised by a physician as a part of her orientation. The physician was paged and we waited for her arrival. At a couple points during the wait, Jeane noticed Hadley's heart rate dropping a bit. She said "We're not waiting....it's time to have this baby". Thankfully, the Doctor arrived right then. Brandon gave me a kiss and then moved closer to the end of the bed. He was going to help Jeane deliver Hadley.

I pushed. In between contractions, and thanks to my epidural, I reflected on how grateful I was to get to relive this moment. This is the moment that I had most wanted to experience again after Caden...anticipating the birth of a healthy baby. I felt so blessed to get to be doing it. We had made it to this moment and Hadley was going to be placed in our arms soon. I wanted to freeze that moment in time, having a special awareness of what it meant and what a blessing getting to anticipate a healthy baby is, but also couldn't wait to meet our little girl.

We worked for about 15 minutes. At 3:18 pm, Brandon helped bring Hadley into the world and then cut her cord. She came out without a fight, announcing her arrival with a beautiful cry. Not a sad, baby kitten sort of cry that babies have when they still have a bit of fluid in their lungs...a robust, full, "I'm here and I'm mad!" cry. It was the greatest sound in the world.

I wept.

We examined her from head to toe. All 6 pounds, 15 ounces of her. It was such a healing, full circle moment for us. She was beautiful. The world stood still for us in that moment.

The nurses evaluated her, burritoed her, and handed her to me. I put her to my breast and she nursed well. So well, in fact, that our family had to wait several minutes to come and meet her. It seemed so natural to have her in our arms.

Connor and Kylee were introduced first, of course. It was the greatest sight ever to watch them hold her. Finally, their moment of healing had come, too. They knew that sometimes, this process ends like it's supposed to. They showered her with hugs and kisses. We noticed how much the three of them looked alike. The room exploded with joy.

Soon after that, our family joined us to meet our newest daughter. July 21, 2009 was so much different han June 30th, 2008. It was a therapeutic moment for all of us. All because of God's goodness and our little baby burrito. :)

The nursery nurse came in to bathe Hadley. I sat back and watched our family as they watched her under the warming lights. It was like the paparrazi had come to St. Luke's South. Cameras flashed, everyone ooooh'd and aahhh'd. It was incredible.

24 hours later, we brought our baby home.

The last year has been filled with undescribable joy. We have been thankful for sleepless nights, dirty diapers, and spit-up. We, along with our families, have watched Hadley grow and change and have celebrated even her smallest accomplishments. Her biggest fans have been Connor and Kylee, who gleefully announce every new development with her to anyone who will listen. She has been constantly showered with love and affection, and has a delightful, easy-going personality. Her Grandpa Carlson describes her as a "blessing baby". He is so right.

Happy Birthday, Hadley Louise. We thank you for the healing and joy we experience because you are here. God chose you especially for us and we could not be more grateful.

We Love You, Baby Girl! :)