Thank You

Good Afternoon!

It has been an eventful day here at the Carlson home. Patti from Alexandra's House came by to drop off some scrapbooking materials and an outfit for our little man, and Jan, our wonderful friend and my co-worker, brought Kylee and I some lunch to eat. Both of these women took time to pray with me, which is just what I needed today.

We have been surrounded by prayer this week, from those who are near, and those who are many miles away. Our prayer team from church came and prayed with us on Monday evening, and then on Tuesday, our new pastor from North Star, the Children's Ministry coordinator, and the interim Pastor that has filled in as the leader for our congregation in between time came and prayed with me. What a blessing these prayers have been.

This morning, I was overwhelmed by the need to say "thank you" to so many of you. I found myself getting choked up when I stopped to reflect on just how much you all have done for us. So, I will start here, and probably summarize more than I should, but hopefully, you know how heartfelt our gratitude is.

First of all, I want to thank our friends. To Becca, who has called almost daily just to check in on me....to Trena, Jeana, Kirsten, Debbie, and Jaymie, who have helped me to laugh and have brightened my days with beautiful flowers, cards, and regular e-mails.....to Heather, who has freely shared her own experience with loss and encouraged me to think and feel in the way that is right for ME....to Dana and Jennifer, who have prayed for Caden each and every day, as have many of you....to Robyn, whose words, in person, on the phone, in a card, and on her blog, continue to impact me in a way that few do....thank you.

To Paula, for sending cards on a weekly basis and for reminding me that is it okay to question and wonder why....thank you.

To my colleagues at William Jewell College, who brought meals, picked up slack with my courses, and have asked no more of me than I was willing to give at any moment and have been completely understanding and supportive....to Wanda, who has so willingly allowed me to draw strength and encouragement from her own painful experience with infant loss....thank you. You ladies exemplify what the heart and soul of nursing is all about and I am honored to be on your team.

To Jan...how can parents express what the precious glimpses of our son mean to us and will mean to us in the months to come? For meeting us on evenings and weekends, for enduring painful hand cramps as you hold the transducer perfectly still so we could watch Caden play, for your spirit of grace and unconditional love, both for us and for our son...for bringing us a peace that only you can provide, and for treasuring Caden's life right along with us....thank you.

To our church....for putting us on the prayer list three months ago and leaving us there each week...for all the hugs and concern....for the prayer shawl (thank you, Kay)....for being Christ's arms around us as we've walked through this valley....and particularly to our small group, the (not so) Young Adults....for the endless offers of help, meals, cards, and for the laughter on Tuesday evenings....thank you.

To Caden's grandparents....our kids are so blessed to have you in their lives. Thank you for loving and praying for each of them since before they were conceived. Your constant encouragement and support is something we simply couldn't do without. Thank you for instilling within us the importance of following God's will in our lives, even when it isn't easy. Knowing that Connor and Kylee will be taken care of this weekend is something that we are beyond grateful for...and we know that, for however brief a time, Caden will get to experience your love and affection this weekend, too. Thanks for putting your own emotions aside to be strong for us. We know it hasn't been easy. We are praying for you throughout this time, too. :) Thank you, thank you.

To Caden's Aunts and Uncles....this little man is lucky to have you in his life....thank you for checking in so often, whether from Overland Park or from North Carolina...and for supporting us so faithfully through prayer.

To Jennifer A., Jennifer S., Hope, Laurie in CA, Renee, Patti, Susan, and Shelly....thank you so much for checking in on us....we are so sorry that many of you have had to walk through this valley before or are walking through it now with us....and we are grateful for those of you who just plain have a heart for those of us who have to surrender our little ones after such a short time with them. Some of you we will never meet face to face, but your words serve as such an encouragement to us. Thank you for sharing your own pain and loss and for offering us a glimpse of the healing and recovery that can follow such utter devastation....we are so grateful.

To our precious little ones, Connor and Kylee....for being the very spirit of Christ in our midst....for being the reason that I get up every morning and find the strength to move forward....for exemplifying childlike faith....for knowing that we're not going to get to bring our baby home and for still kissing my belly and drawing him pictures, anyway....for sitting on my lap and sharing my tears when Mommy just needs to cry....for having so much love to give and for giving it so freely....for reminding us that everything God creates is perfect....thank you.

To my husband....thank you for holding me, crying with me, and for being the only other soul in this world that can connect with our son as a parent. Your presence is a great comfort to me. Your steadfastness is the foundation of our family, and your strong desire to follow God's will in ALL circumstances is simply amazing. I would not want to go through this with anyone but you by my side...and for your hurt, I am sorry. Thank you for all the ways in which you have taken care of me physically...helping around the house, chasing the kids when my energy runs out, cooking meals, never-ending Wal-Mart runs....and most importantly, thank you for always being willing to take care of me emotionally, too. I am so blessed to be married to my best friend and the greatest father in the universe, be that for our children here on this earth or for the one that may be looking down on us from heaven....thank you for being you and for loving me.

And lastly, to our precious Caden....thank you, well, for being you. Thank you for kicking and for defying the odds to live long enough to make it this far....I don't know why God is calling you to come home with Him so soon, but I trust that it is because you possess something very special....you have been called to fulfill His purpose in an incredible way. If it is His will to call you home, thanks for watching over all of us and for being our very special little angel. We are forever grateful for your presence, however brief, in our lives...and for forever, in our hearts.

And to you, our reader...thank you for caring enough to check in. We are truly overwhelmed by your support and love.