!1987-1997 (ages 10-20)
1.) In 1989, our family came face-to-face with the harsh reality of AIDS. We said goodbye to my Uncle Kevin (my Dad’s brother) this year, and learned a lot about what was considered at this date, to be a scary, highly communicable, unknown disease. My parents had not shared details of my Uncle’s illness with us in an effort to protect us. One day at the dinner table, Dad finally broke down and told us that Uncle Kevin was sick. He came to visit us one last time, and in a time when AIDS was feared, we welcomed Kevin into our house. 213 N. First was transformed into a mini-hospital complete with wheelchair, oxygen tank, and assistance to the bathroom. As Uncle Kevin went to sleep in my sister’s bed, I told him good night for the last time. He was very ill, but still full of spunk. I wouldn’t realize until later what an important lesson this was for us kids. A few years later, Dad and us kids made a panel in the AIDS quilt for Kevin and then took a trip to see the quilt in Wichita. It was highly emotional and incredible. This was my first experience with grief. Lesson: Life is short. Even people that make choices different than our own are worthy of love. Accomplishment: My views on AIDS and homosexuality changed forever. Thank you, Uncle Kevin.
2.) At age 12, I had my first experience with love. Let me just say up front that during this time in my life, Brandon was heavily pursuing my best friend, Jessi Randall, so I was not leaving him high and dry. Ryan and I started “going together” in 7th grade. It was one of those silly things where on a whim, my girlfriends and I thought it would be fun to get the two of us together. Literally, I had never spoken to this guy when we embarked on what would turn into a rather lengthy relationship. Ryan eventually moved to Andover, Kansas, and then down to Texas, so the majority of our relationship was spent apart. We kept in touch via letters and phone, with occasional visits over holidays. Lesson: First love is unforgettable, but giving of your heart can be painful. Ryan eventually dumped me for a Texas beauty queen (literally). Accomplishment: I endured my first broken heart. I wouldn’t change the experience. I wish him well wherever he is.
3.) In eighth grade, I somehow ended up in advanced math. Most folks didn’t take Algebra until they were in highschool, but due to my score on a standardized test, I got thrown in with the “smart kids” and invited to take Algebra a year early. In an effort to survive this, Brandon and I became great friends. Brandon was my life-line in Mr. Henderson's Algebra class. Mom and Dad would offer their help, but in the end, the 911 call always went out to Brandon, who would come over and very patiently explain equations to me. Lesson: Standardized testing is interesting. How on earth did I end up in advanced math class? Maybe I’m smarter than I think I am (Bad News: My ACT score would show that unfortunately, this was not the case).
4.) Prior to the start of my freshman year of high school (I think I was about 13), my parents told us of their decision to get a divorce. I think that, as the oldest child in the family, I had known that something was wrong in their relationship, but still, the words hurt. This was obviously a huge turning point in our family’s life. I would learn that things aren’t always what they appear to be, and I would watch my mom and dad learn how to be single parents. Mom cried in frustration when the slats on her bed broke and she had to try to fix it without Dad’s help. Dad would get frustrated when dinner didn’t turn out quite like it was supposed to (I will never forget the dipping the fish filets in powdered sugar instead of flour supper debaucle). But they worked hard to keep us kids first. Lesson: Divorce stinks. A good marriage takes A LOT of work. Marry your best friend.
5.) I got my driver’s license and my first car at age 16. Ariel was my sand-colored four-door, 1993 Mercury Tracer. I was responsible for making the payment on her--$150 a month. Grandpa helped me find Ariel at Marmie Ford in Great Bend, Kansas, and she was a beauty. With a standard transmission and NO bells and whistles, she was a GREAT car. Accomplishment: Only one wreck (my fault) in high school. Lesson: Having Ariel taught me personal responsibility as I worked hard at Casper’s Ice Cream and Deli to pay for her. Even though some of my friends were given a car, I am thankful that I had to pay for my own. Additional accomplishment: As a result of my job at Casper's, I became a MASTER at deep-fat frying, flipping burgers, and making milkshakes (sometimes all at once). Very important life skills if you ask me.
6.) In the winter of 1994, during my senior year of high school, I made the decision to attend William Jewell College as a Nursing major. This was the first time in my life where I very distinctly felt God calling me in a certain direction. For YEARS, I had planned on going to college at KU. All of the sudden, six months before high school graduation, I knew that I wasn’t supposed to go to KU. My parents and grandparents then took me on several college campus visits, and the minute I stepped up on “The Hill” in Liberty, MO, I knew that William Jewell was where I was supposed to be. It was unreal. Lesson: God speaks to us in a variety of ways. Accomplishment: Following His prompts led me to make one of the BEST decisions I’ve ever made.
7.) I graduated from Smoky Valley High School in 1995. I was Vice-President of my class and a member of National Honors Society and the Lindsborg Swedish Folk Dancers (a little known fact about me). I planned our Junior prom and it was a knock-out affair. I spoke at our Commencement ceremony. I was the first chair clarinetist in the band, and also sang in the choir (which my future mother-in-law directed). I took Honors English and had a very short-lived and pathetic career on the volleyball team. I was surrounded with wonderful friends (let me give a shout out here to Jessi, Jen, Megs, and Alex) and had a GREAT time during my high school years. As I reflect on these years, I realize just how wonderful they were. I was secure, surrounded by people that loved me, and very successful (at least in high school terms). Lesson: Big bangs ROCK. Being a big fish in a little pond has its advantages. Along with cheerleading, I am not cut out for volleyball, either. Accomplishment: I did my part to keep aerosol hairspray companies and Brass Buckle in business.
8.) In the fall of 1995, at 18 years of age, I left home for Liberty, MO and began my tenure as a nursing major at William Jewell College. I instantly felt safe and at home amongst the 1500 other students on campus. I made friends, joined campus organizations, and in spite of a difficult roommate situation, I was happy. I really missed being at home, and distinctly remember my first visit home after two weeks away at school. It was great to visit my family and see how life had gone on without me. Getting my laundry done for free, working a shift at the Main Street Grill, my Mom's restaurant, to earn some tips, and a date night with Brandon was the standard fare of a weekend at home. It was great. During the weeks, I studied hard and learned that as a Nursing major, the stakes were pretty high. I remember studying for hours for one of my first Chemistry tests and getting a C on it. Reality came crashing down hard, but I was up for the challenge. Lesson: The college years really are as fantastic as people say they are. A home-cooked meal tastes even better after weeks of cafeteria food. Accomplishment: Establishing myself as an independent entity and starting over. I knew NO ONE on Jewell’s campus when I started school. God provided amazing friends (enter Heather Falk) and a strong support network that was exactly what I needed. Lesson from the WJC Cafeteria: If you combine Golden Grahams cereal and vanilla soft-serve and drizzle honey over it, it tastes just like fried ice cream.
9.) Even more important was the spiritual growth I experienced soon after arriving on Jewell’s campus. I was surrounded by a strong Christian community that was unlike anything I had ever experienced. Christianity could be FUN?!?! Who knew? It was during my freshman year of college that my Faith became real to me and I made the decision that I wanted to know Jesus in a personal way. I had gone to church for years, but this was the first time that I realized that Jesus desired a personal relationship with me. I asked Him to forgive my sins and come live in my heart. When given the opportunity to explore my values and beliefs for myself, I soared. Christianity didn’t mean that you had to be a frumpy person that could recite every word from the Bible at a moment’s notice. God loved me even though I wasn’t perfect. There was grace even for me. What a feeling of freedom! During my sophomore year of college, Becca Wiebe came into my life. She was my prayer partner assigned to me through Alpha Omega, a women's group I was a member of. Almost 11 years later, we still pray for each other individually and together. Wow. What a blessing. I made many new friends who supported me in my decision to grow in my Faith (hello to all of you Jewell alums!). Accomplishment: Making a huge life change that would affect the way I lived my from this point forward. Lesson: His grace is sufficient for me.
10.) It was also during this period in my life where God showed me that Brandon was the man I was to marry. Unfortunately, this message wasn’t delivered to Brandon until about a year after it was laid on my heart. ;) I learned a lot about Godly roles in a marriage after studying them in various Bible studies, and knew that Brandon fit the bill, hands down. We had left for college deciding that if either of us were to meet someone else, that would be okay. I knew soon after setting foot on campus that there would be no one else for me. Lesson: Patience truly is a virtue, and long distance love is hard. Accomplishment: We stuck it out and look what happened.
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