We had a wonderful time celebrating Hadley's 2nd birthday in late July. Family gathered for an Elmo-themed party. We ate a meal, watched Hadley open presents, and chowed down on some amazing cake pops (made by the incredible Trena). We recalled, again, how blessed we are to have Miss Hadley as a part of our world.
I can still easily recall the debate that we had after losing Caden...should we try again, or not? Could we bear the pain of loss one more time? Would we ever be able to be truly experience joy if we didn't try again? Stinging, hurting, but knowing we couldn't live in fear, we took the leap. And we are so very grateful that we did.
To those that ask about our journey, I refer to Hadley as our "healer baby". Our pregnancy with Hadley was filled with uncertainty...and incredible healing. I will never forget the moment she was born...she came out screaming loudly, announcing her arrival in just the way we were praying that she would. After Caden's silent birth, the sound of Hadley's lungs filling with air was the best therapy we could ask for. We held a perfect, healthy, little girl in our arms. It was the culmination of the most difficult 2 years of our lives.
Since that moment, we have truly reveled in every aspect of having Hadley around. We treasure every smile, lavish her with kisses, and still refer to her as "the baby". This off the charts love also comes from Connor and Kylee. The gift of Hadley has restored their souls in a unique and wonderful way, too. We have applauded every landmark, kissed away every tear, and truly treasured every moment with her (even the ones that have meant less sleep for us). We do this not only because of our experience with Caden, but also because we have seen how quickly these years go by. We feel so very blessed. Shortly after Hadley's birthday party, my husband went up into the nursery and transformed the crib into a toddler bed...and I cried. The tears from feeling incredibly blessed to be able to watch our children grow, and incredibly sad...because, well....the crib is gone for the last time. The changing table came down, too. Ouch. In its place went Hadley's pink chair, transforming the space into a reading corner...and the nursery into a toddler's room. We are transitioning out of babyhood. It is bittersweet. I stared at the room thinking of all the memories one has from a nursery....and I anticipate memories to come.
Hadley is her own unique being. I think with the 3rd child, I thought that perhaps she would very closely mirror one of her siblings, especially given that Connor and Kylee are so different in personality. God gifted us with another, totally incredible, individual. Hadley is kind, sure of herself, and very opinionated. She is smart, playful, and will hear NOTHING of not being allowed to keep up with the big kids. She adores Elmo, playing on the iPod (sheesh), chocolate, and shoes. She loves to giggle with Connor and Kylee and has an AWESOME belly laugh. She has a smile that will light up an entire city block, only made cuter by her signature toddler mullet. With each day that passes, we see more and more physical resemblance to Connor, but her personality is all her own. She is almost completely unfamiliar with what it means to not get her way, but at the same time, is incredibly flexible.
Happy Birthday, Haddie Lou. Thank you for being our sunshine that broke through our family's cloud of darkness. God blessed us with an incredible light when He gave us you.
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