A Heavy Heart

Today I am home with Hadley.  We are baking Christmas cookies in the comfort of our home.  The smell of peanut butter wafts through the kitchen and I am counting my blessings.  On the heels of the Connecticut tragedy, I am especially mindful of how important it is to make every minute count.  There have been lots of extra kisses and "I love you's" spoken here.

As I type this, Uncle Dan (Brandon's Uncle, but I claim him just as strongly ;)) is preparing to leave this Earth and enter heaven.  Diagnosed with cancer earlier this year, he has waged an amazing battle with his wife of 33 years, Jane, at his side every step of the way.  The youngest of 6 children, he is a Daddy to four grown children, has a granddaughter who is absolutely precious and another grandbaby on the way.  He  worked as a farmer and would invite our kids to climb on his farm machinery and marvel at the size of tractor tires.  Rides on Uncle Dan's four-wheeler were a highlight of trips to Lindsborg.  I have many memories of him walking into Grandpa and Grandma Carlson's house in town with his stainless steel coffee mug in hand, just stopping by say hello, always with a warm smile and a big hug to give.

As a former Oncology nurse, the nightmare of cancer is not foreign to me.  As a caretaker for my own Mother as she fought this terrible disease, the pain that surrounds this journey is all too familiar.  Perhaps this is why I am aching to my very core for this family.  It is hard not to ask "why".  Jane's posts on Caring Bridge have been a continual reminder to me that we should not ask "why" in these situations, but instead, approach the Throne to receive the wisdom, comfort, and hope that we so desperately need.

In the midst of sorrow, there is comfort.  We know where Uncle Dan is headed.  It is almost impossible for me to imagine the splendor of heaven that awaits him.  No more pain, sickness, or sorrow.  I envision angels applauding and the Lord smiling as Uncle Dan leaves his earthly body.  A grand celebration of a life well-lived.  In the midst of these realizations, I remember how hard good-bye is.  There is no experience like being in the presence of one who is so close to heaven.  It is incredibly surreal.  I am only sorry for those of us here on earth who are left missing him.  My heart is heavy realizing that the grief journey is far from over for loved ones as they heal.  I know healing will come and this experience will be used for God's glory.  It already has been.  But the pain is so raw.

The radio plays Christmas songs and my heart and mind are with the Carlson family in Salina, Kansas, as they sit at Dan's bedside, treasuring these final moments with him.  You are loved.  May peace and comfort find you in the hours, days, and months to come.  Please join me in lifting this amazing family up in your prayers.

Uncle Dan, we are grateful that your body will be restored soon and that you will be set free to bask in the presence of our Lord and Savior.  Thank you for ministry to all of us.  We love you and look forward to the day we meet again.

Look What Followed Us Home

On Kylee's birthday, we were on our way home from KCI after dropping Grandma and Grandpa Carlson off for their return flight home.  A gentleman with a crate of white puppies caught our eye.  We stopped to take a look...they were Maltizus, bred by a family in Excelsior Springs.  The price was right, the Momma dog was on site, and they had already had their first round of vaccinations after being examined by a vet.  There was one girl left in the litter.  She came home with us.

Let me back up a bit....I have wanted a "white, fluffy dog" for quite awhile.  I have often joked about having a "purse puppy", and assumed that this would be something we could look into to pull me out of my deep depression when Hadley went to kindergarten.  We were rather enjoying the simplicity of life with Buster, who, being out of puppyhood, was fairly easy to manage, despite a few oddities.

Then along came the drive home from the airport.  On Kylee's birthday.  She looked at her Daddy with big blue eyes and said "Daddy, this would be the best birthday EVER!".

The rest is history. Chloe is now our family's newest member.

Hadley actually was excited.  Don't let the pic tell you different. ;)

She and Buster have gotten along quite well.  They play together and I think he rather enjoys having company, even though she is an ankle biter.  He can fit her entire head in his mouth.  They take turn antagonizing each other.  We are once again learning the ropes of life with a puppy (ugh), but she is good with the kids, albeit very yappy.  She is a bit stranger-phobic, but we wonder if that has something to do with her hair constantly being in her eyes (if I couldn't see who was coming up to me, I might freak out, too).  She has an affinity for stuffed animals and loves to invade the kids' rooms to steal their animals off their beds and run all over the house with them in her mouth (Zhu-Zhu pets and Angry Birds stuffed animals are her favorites).  Thankfully, her teeth are small enough that they do little damage.

Hanging with Hadley

Post-first-trip-to-the-groomer pics:

It's a new adventure.  Simplicity is overrated.

Happy 8th Birthday, Kylee J!

Those of you who know our Kylee J know of her passion.  She is passionate about most everything in life...passionate about humor and about frustration, passionate about friendship, passionate about loyalty, and passionate about family.  She is authentic and unfiltered.  Her heart is on her sleeve.  Kylee is a budding artist who loves to dance to her own rhythm.  Kylee challenges her Daddy and I on a regular basis and helps us grow as people and as parents.  She has a heart for Jesus and is an example for her little sister.  She is a huge fan of jokes of all kinds (especially the bad ones) and is known to trade her latest and greatest funnies with her Grandpas.

It was so much fun celebrating her 8th birthday.

 Kylee was excited to have friends and family around her at zebra and hot pink party.

Blake and Jeana

Neighbors and Lizzy

This guy keeps randomly appearing at our parties....

Good buddy Georgia

Grandma and Grandpa Carlson

Grandma and Grandpa McKinney

We had a great time!

There were presents to open, too:

Kylee humbled us by deciding that instead of asking for gifts, she wanted to collect donations (in the form of $10 Target cards) for the Liberty Women's Clinic, a local ministry that serves women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy.  The women receive these giftcards when they attend educational offerings at the Clinic.  This is where we had ultrasounds of Caden and Hadley...the Clinic remains near and dear to our hearts.  

Kylee collected over $100 worth of giftcards thanks to the support of her birthday guests.  We were so proud of her for her selfless decision!

Kylee wrapped up the giftcards and took them to the Clinic to present to the Client Services Director, Janie:

The celebration continued at Rock Stars and Divas, a local salon that is all about getting girls dolled up and dressed to walk the runway in a fashion show.  Kylee and her friends had a blast!

Pretty hairdo!

We are so thankful to have Kylee in our world and can't wait to see what the next year brings!

Great Grandpa's Garden

Shortly after school started, we had the opportunity to go to Great Bend, KS, and visit Uncle Craig (my Mom's brother).  Before heading back home, we made a trip out to Great Grandpa's garden.  This is a very special place on a plot of land that neighbors my Grandma and Grandpa's house....Grandpa spent hours upon end prepping the soil, planting, and harvesting produce in the garden.  Grandma would then spend hours washing, canning, and preparing the delicious proceeds for us to eat.  Meals tasted best at Grandpa and Grandma's house because the food was so fresh (and lovingly prepared by Grandma using no less than 1 stick of butter, of course).  

Growing up, we kids had the chance to help Grandpa in the garden, where the soil is the consistency of sand and you're hard pressed to find a weed.  Corn, green beans, potatoes, pumpkins, watermelons, cantaloupe, radishes, onions, peppers, beets, strawberries....you  name it, they grew it.  Grandpa would put on his overalls and hat and head out for the day.  It was a sanctuary for him.  He would often tease me because I'm not much of an outdoorswoman and therefore didn't spend a ton of time out there ("Lindsey, the corn is ready for picking....are you coming out?"). ;) I do have fond memories of planting and then helping Grandma clean things up in the kitchen.

For years after Grandma passed away, we were able to enjoy the fruits of their labor.  Cans of green beans and baggies of frozen corn were treasures in our family.  I was very emotional when we ate the last of each of these things and savored every bite.

For these reasons and because of these memories, it was such a blessing for me to watch the kids in the garden, which Craig has worked at maintaining on a much smaller scale since Grandpa passed away.  It was special to me because this allowed the kids to see that not all produce comes from Hy-Vee and that it takes a lot of work to grow and prepare much of the food we enjoy. :)

The kids and their garden goodies

Trimming peppers off the vine

I miss Grandpa and Grandma very much and was so grateful for the opportunity for my kids to have a connection point with a place that is so near and dear to my heart.  The land that the garden sits on is currently for sale.  It will be a tough day when the garden sells, but I am so thankful for all the memories I have of time spent there.

First Day of School: 2012 Edition

BACK TO SCHOOL 2012 was a momentous occasion for The Carlson Crew...the first year with THREE kiddos heading out on a new adventure!!

After a fun summer, the kids were excited, and a little anxious, about heading back to school.  The girls got to go for a special "back to school" nail painting session, equipping them with sparkly purple nails with white polka dots.  Connor opted to stay home with Daddy. ;)

Connor started 4th grade this year, his second to last year at Doniphan (yikes!).  His classroom is now located in the "big kids'"  hallway of the school.

It was a bit of a rough start for the Con-man, as he was placed in a class without any of his familiar buddies in it.  His teacher, Ms. Campbell, is a first year teacher that he hadn't had the opportunity to meet yet, so anxiety was high.  As I type this, I am pleased to report that Connor is thoroughly enjoying his 4th grade year and is doing well.  He has made some new friends in his class and has really enjoyed Ms. Campbell, which has made things much more livable for him. ;)

Mandatory first day of school home pictures :)

Outside the classroom

Connor and Ms. Campbell

Kylee began her journey as a second grader.  Her teacher is Mrs. Graber, a warm, kind teacher with lots of experience.  As fate would have it, Mrs. Graber's husband (who has since passed away) is the realtor who sold me our first house.  It is strange how things circle around.  Kylee was excited to be in Mrs. Graber's class and has also had a great year so far.

At her seat and ready to go.   Second grade is the first year where kids have their own desk!

Kylee with Mrs. Graber

Hadley was not about to miss out on the action!

Our Doniphan Dolphins...ready to dive into a new year!

Just a few days after the kids started back to school at Doniphan, Hadley set off on her maiden voyage into Second Friends Preschool, where Ms. Marti is her lead teacher and Ms. Nicole (affectionately termed "Miss Cole" by Hadley) is the assistant teacher.   It is a bit surreal being back in the halls of Second Friends, but the familiarity is a blessing.  Hadley goes to school from 9-12 on Mondays and Wednesdays.  She is one of the younger kids in her class, but has so far done a great job of holding her own.  Ms. Marti does a great job working on academics and socialization with them.  Hadley is learning how to use a tripod grip to hold a pencil, as well as lots of exciting new things about letters, numbers, and reading!

The Second Friends experience starts with an Open House, where the kids can see their classroom and explore new surroundings.  Hadley had a great time!

Hadley with Ms. Marti (green shirt) and Ms. Nicole

Music Room!

Closely examining the calendar on the classroom scavenger hunt!

The traditional "in front of the school" pic after Open House

Miss Marti sent the kids home from Open House with a special story and confetti to place under their pillow to bring happy dreams and wishes for a great first day of preschool.  Hadley had a great time sprinkling the confetti under her pillow the night before school started (for the record, Daddy is way cooler than Mommy and suggested we let Hadley take the confetti out of the baggie to sprinkle it):

Before we knew it, it was Hadley's official first day of school!

With Mommy outside school

Ready to learn!  I had to laugh at the fact that she ignored the outlines of her name on the paper on her desk and instead just started scribbling.  The money invested in preschool will be money well spent!  LOL! :)

We feel so blessed to have kids that are thriving and enjoying their experiences at school!