Big News for The Carlson Crew

Good Morning!

Look closely at these pictures, and you will see that Kylee's shirt states that she's going to be a BIG SISTER!

That's right, folks, we are excited to announce that Baby Carlson #3 is on the way...due August 17th. I am 13 weeks along and doing well. I have battled the typical first-trimester stuff, which has added an interesting dimension to a busy work schedule and trying to navigate all of this with Grandpa, but I am now at the point where I am having more good days than bad days, which is great.

We had deliberated for months about having a third child...me being more comfortable with the idea than Brandon. I think that a large part of my desire to have a third comes from my frame of reference...coming from a family of three kiddos myself. My sister, the middle child in our family, assures me that the only reason I think having three kids is cool is because I was the oldest of my brood. :)

We thought, prayed, discussed, discussed some more, and this summer, both came to the conclusion (independently, actually), that we were brave enough to be outnumbered. :)

We feel amazingly blessed. I had a sonogram last week and it was incredible to see a perfectly formed little person floating around inside my belly. Following the sonogram, we told the kids what was about to happen. Both seemed fairly okay with the idea, which was a relief. I think Kylee was way more excited about her new shirt. Connor said he was "too nervous" to have his picture taken in his big brother shirt, so that's why there are no pictures of him in this post.

The question many folks have asked us as we've shared our news is "Are you going to find out what you're having?". Our answer, right now, is "no". But, who knows? When we're sitting there right next to the sonogram screen in a couple months, our resistance to finding out may dwindle (I, in general, don't like surprises, so this will be interesting). However, given that we really have no preference either way, it makes sense to spice it up a bit this way.

Let the adventure begin.

Prayers, Please...

Let me begin this post by telling you what an important part of our family my Grandpa is. Following my mother's death in 1999, he did everything he could to help us navigate life without Mom...financially, emotionally...all of it. He has taken care of all of us in so many ways both before and following her passing. His care for us has greatly surpassed the typical role of Grandpa as he has looked out for Sarah, Jordan, myself, and our families. Here he is with Connor preparing the Thanksgiving bird for the oven...his traditional role at our holiday gatherings.

As many of you know, Grandpa had two strokes following a heart catheterization procedure in January.

The last month has been extremely stressful as we've tried to make decisions about Grandpa's care while dealing with the uncertainties that stroke brings. Weighing heavily on our hearts is knowing what a proud and dignified man my Grandpa is and how QUALITY of life is much more important to him than quantity.

I have oscillated between anger, sadness, helplessness, peacefulness, anxiety, and frustration, which I suppose is normal.

In my lowest moments, I wonder why God has brought this experience to us. Doesn't He know that our numbers in this family are dwindling after the loss of both Mom and Grandma? Does He know that Grandpa would NEVER want to be dependent on others for walking, bathing, eating, and simply using the restroom? Is He aware how much Grandpa means to us?

Of course He is. Logically, I know this. Emotionally, I struggle. We spent Thanksgiving and Christmas together, and now, just a mere month and a half later, this?!?!?! It's a tough one to wrap your mind around.

My Uncle lives in Great Bend and is able to oversee the day-to-day aspects of Grandpa's progress in the hospital. Craig and I are the powers of attorney for Grandpa, which, quite frankly, is more responsibility than I want to face right now, but because Mom isn't here, it's how it has to be. I am thankful for the support of so many friends and family who have been more than willing to help in any way that they can. I am especially thankful for my husband, who, as always, has been there for me every step of the way.

Grandpa is currently on a rehabilitation unit at a hospital in Great Bend. In two weeks, they will transfer him off the rehab unit and are currently saying that he will need the kind of care that can only be provided in a nursing home. Ouch. In order to be moved anywhere else, he will need to make MIRACULOUS progress in the next 14 days. While his improvement is gradual, care providers are concerned that it isn't consistent enough...that he will need much more help than an in-home provider or an assisted living facility can provide. His ability to reason and problem-solve is signficantly impaired, which will make it impossible for him to be independent at this stage of the game.

It is for this miraculous progress that I am praying for, and I ask you to do the same if you think of it.

I would really like to have Grandpa with us preparing the bird for Thanksgiving 2008.

Also, I would invite you to tell a family member, TODAY, how much you love them. Because you just never know.

Thanks.