Prayers, Please...

Let me begin this post by telling you what an important part of our family my Grandpa is. Following my mother's death in 1999, he did everything he could to help us navigate life without Mom...financially, emotionally...all of it. He has taken care of all of us in so many ways both before and following her passing. His care for us has greatly surpassed the typical role of Grandpa as he has looked out for Sarah, Jordan, myself, and our families. Here he is with Connor preparing the Thanksgiving bird for the oven...his traditional role at our holiday gatherings.

As many of you know, Grandpa had two strokes following a heart catheterization procedure in January.

The last month has been extremely stressful as we've tried to make decisions about Grandpa's care while dealing with the uncertainties that stroke brings. Weighing heavily on our hearts is knowing what a proud and dignified man my Grandpa is and how QUALITY of life is much more important to him than quantity.

I have oscillated between anger, sadness, helplessness, peacefulness, anxiety, and frustration, which I suppose is normal.

In my lowest moments, I wonder why God has brought this experience to us. Doesn't He know that our numbers in this family are dwindling after the loss of both Mom and Grandma? Does He know that Grandpa would NEVER want to be dependent on others for walking, bathing, eating, and simply using the restroom? Is He aware how much Grandpa means to us?

Of course He is. Logically, I know this. Emotionally, I struggle. We spent Thanksgiving and Christmas together, and now, just a mere month and a half later, this?!?!?! It's a tough one to wrap your mind around.

My Uncle lives in Great Bend and is able to oversee the day-to-day aspects of Grandpa's progress in the hospital. Craig and I are the powers of attorney for Grandpa, which, quite frankly, is more responsibility than I want to face right now, but because Mom isn't here, it's how it has to be. I am thankful for the support of so many friends and family who have been more than willing to help in any way that they can. I am especially thankful for my husband, who, as always, has been there for me every step of the way.

Grandpa is currently on a rehabilitation unit at a hospital in Great Bend. In two weeks, they will transfer him off the rehab unit and are currently saying that he will need the kind of care that can only be provided in a nursing home. Ouch. In order to be moved anywhere else, he will need to make MIRACULOUS progress in the next 14 days. While his improvement is gradual, care providers are concerned that it isn't consistent enough...that he will need much more help than an in-home provider or an assisted living facility can provide. His ability to reason and problem-solve is signficantly impaired, which will make it impossible for him to be independent at this stage of the game.

It is for this miraculous progress that I am praying for, and I ask you to do the same if you think of it.

I would really like to have Grandpa with us preparing the bird for Thanksgiving 2008.

Also, I would invite you to tell a family member, TODAY, how much you love them. Because you just never know.

Thanks.

Weighing the Options

This fall, Brandon and I took the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University course through our church. It was a great learning experience and we'd highly encourage anyone who's interested in achieving financial peace to consider taking it at some point.

Part of what Dave taught us about was the importance of teaching your children how to handle money. One of the ways he suggested we could do this was by paying your children for doing chores around the house...thus instilling the value that in order to make money, one must work for it. We decided to pick a few household chores and attach a monetary value to them. We made charts for both of the kiddos and frequently give them the option to make some money. They can refuse if they wish.

Most of the time, Connor is eager to do the chores to make money. He does dishes, helps with laundry, empties the trash, and cleans up around the house (some woman is going to be VERY happy one day!). Brandon sits down and "pays" the children every Sunday. Connor eagerly awaits payday every week, and sets aside some money for savings, some to give to church, and some to spend.

Our little man attended his first skating party this weekend and he LOVED it!! He did really well coasting around the rink. After this experience, he decided that he wanted to use his money to buy roller skates. Some online research showed us that skates would cost $18.00. He has $9.00, and you could tell that waiting another two weeks to buy something was going to pain him a great deal.

Dave Ramsey also mentioned the concept of "matching" a child's savings, much like a traditional IRA through a company. Brandon and I talked and thought that we'd offer Connor a match for his money...if he would agree to brush his teeth without whining for ONE FULL WEEK (this is a constant battle at our house and we have been brainstorming for quite some time about how to nip his whining about teeth brushing in the bud). We presented the idea to Connor.

He thought about it. And thought some more.

Then he said..."I think I'd like to just keep saving my money and buy my skates myself".

Some things just aren't worth giving up the right to stomp your feet and complain about the small injustices of life....and apparently teeth-brushing is one of those small injustices in our son's eyes.

Guess the battles will continue on. Whoever came up with the brilliant idea that kids should brush their teeth TWICE a day?

Dang it.

The Christmas Tour: 2007 Edition

Okay, so once again, I'm behind in posting. But hey, the suspense makes it a little more exciting, right? I'll get caught up, but let's pick up where I left off...Christmas.

We had a great holiday season. We spent Christmas eve and Christmas morning in Great Bend with the Hanekes and then drove on out to Colorado for three days of fun in the snow with the Carlsons in Colorado. We had a great time and the kids were such troopers in the car!

Before we took off for Great Bend, we opened presents as a family here at home. Here's Kylee with her new princess vanity (now if you see our daughter sporting purple eyeshadow, you'll know why):

Here's Connor, not looking AT ALL excited to be opening presents...

The kids were excited that Santa found them in Great Bend at Great Grandpa Haneke's house. It was so much fun to watch them open presents. Santa brought the kids tents this year...Santa was hoping that the tents would reduce the number of "forts" constructed around our house (using every chair and blanket available, of course), but alas, the forts still appear....the kids do enjoy sleeping in the tents at night when we're away from home.

Santa also brought Connor a laptop...which he subsequently asked to return for more Transformers....we had to give the educational toy a shot, right?!?!?

Kylee and her new Snow White Dress:

After a delicious lunch in Great Bend, we headed towards Colorado. The kids had a great time seeing Aunt Mary, Uncle Justin, and cousins Drew, Amy, and Beth. Grandpa and Grandma did a good job of juggling the whole crew! We played indoors and out....the highlight for Connor was getting to go sledding. He zipped right down a fairly steep and high hill, laughing all the way. Kylee thought she wanted to try, but when we got on the sled, she changed her mind...

I took her down with me, anyway. It was her first and last trip.

Grandpa and Grandma Carlson had matching t-shirts made for all of us. Here's Connor modeling the grandkid version:

And now, for the FAVORITE presents this year...Kylee with Tea Time with Belle and Connor with Optimus Prime:
We concluded our Christmas season by celebrating with the McKinney family. We all enjoyed swedish pancakes together, and, of course, more presents. Connor got a guitar from Grandpa and Grandma Lori (we're thankful they opted for this instead of a drum set):

Oscar, Grandpa and Grandma Lori's dog, gave each of the kids fun stuff to use in the tub:

We rang in 2008 with a quiet evening playing games with friends. It was a welcome wind-down after the holiday hustle and bustle. Now it's back to work, me teaching Assessment at Jewell and Brandon handling the new year's business at DST. Connor is back at school and Kylee keeps us on our toes on a daily basis.

We hope 2008 finds you happy and healthy!

If A Little Is Good...

More is better!

At least, that's what Kylee would tell you. I foolishly left her alone with access to my lotion one evening:

She's terrified in this picture because she isn't yet for sure how much trouble she's in. :)

Here she is, a little more calm, as she realizes that Mom and Dad think this is more humorous than infuriating:

Beauty comes at a price, doesn't it?

Holiday Happenings

Good Afternoon! My husband informed me the other day that it's time for a new blog post, so here goes!

Things have been crazy here at the Carlson house. We hosted the Haneke (my Mom's family) Thanksgiving here at our house last month. Grandpa and Craig came and stayed for a few nights, and we ate and watched lots and lots of college football. It was rough to see KU lose to MU, but now I'm just looking forward to the bowl games. :) Here's Grandpa and Connor preparing the Thanksgiving capon:

Cool Cousins, ready to go out and play:

Brandon has been busy with end of the year business at work, and has been spending some extra alone time with the kiddos due to the fact that I started a new job in November. I am working for Minute Clinics, which are the clinics located inside CVS stores. The clinics are completely Nurse Practitioner run, and we are able to treat minor health issues (strep throat, bronchitis, sinusitis, etc) and also offer immunizations, including flu shots. I have been orienting over the last few weeks and will be out working on my own beginning in February. I accepted this job because they offer a Casual Part Time position, which means I will only be required to work one weekend a month. So, Brandon can be home to watch the kids and I will get to stay clinically active and use my certification! They are saying my home base will be the new CVS opening on Armour and Swift in North Kansas City. It is terrifying and wonderful all at the same time to be back in the game.

Here's a pic of Connor and his accessories. Just so you can fully appreciate it, I'll tell you a little about what went into this. This outfit is comprised of a pajama top, his football pants from his Halloween costume, his Batman hat and gloves, Kylee's sunglasses, and, last but not least, his soccer ankle guards (in this case, worn on his wrists). Connor topped this ensemble off with our garage door opener clipped to his waistband:

Cowgirl Kylee "riding" Winnie the horse, er, I mean, dog. The kids INSIST that this hat is a cowboy hat, so don't try to convince us otherwise:

Connor and Kylee are so excited for Christmas. They ask almost daily if they can open their presents, and Connor loves to tell people that he is having 4 Christmases (this is one of the few perks of coming from a family that has been affected by divorce). They are doing a fairly good job of understanding that we are celebrating Jesus' birthday, and have really enjoyed doing the advent calendar on a nightly basis.

We celebrated Christmas at Connor's preschool today. He sang and did the motions for several songs, all while clad in shepherd garb. It was pretty cute (I swear when we dropped him off at school he had his shirt tucked in and his sweater zipped).

We baked a birthday cake for Jesus to take for snack time at school, and as we prepared it, Connor became disraught when he realized that in Jesus' time, they didn't have ovens, so "HOW on EARTH did Jesus get a birthday cake then?" I love 5 year olds!

Here's a shot of Connor and his teachers, Ms. Tara and Ms. Joyce, and one of his good friends, Paige. We hear that Connor and Paige are quite an item at school, always sitting by each other. Ms. Tara remarked that she might be concerned if they were a little bit older. :)

Speaking of true love, we celebrated our 8th anniversary on December 18th. Dad and Lori watched the kids for us so we could have a kid-free night, and it was wonderful. It is amazing to look back on the last eight years and see all the ways in which we have been so richly blessed.

Happy Holidays to you and yours.

Sweet Moments of Motherhood (or Not)

Connor had a Thanksgiving celebration at his school on Monday. One of his projects was to draw a picture of whatever he is thankful for. He drew a lovely picture of Daddy, and the other entity he declared his eternal gratefulness for was Winnie, our dog.

Sheesh.

Don't get me wrong. I am SO GRATEFUL for the wonderful husband and father that Brandon is, and it has been no secret for several years now that Daddy is, by far, our son's biggest hero. I'm glad it's that way. If our son turns out to be half the man that his Daddy is, I know we will have done our job as parents well.

However, I guess I was hoping that as his mother--the one who fixes his meals, kisses his owies, does his laundry, comes to school functions, packs his lunches, and sings him his lullaby at night--I might have outranked the dog.

Not wanting to be guilt-inducing, I told Connor how nice his picture was. I had to ask..."Is there anything else you're grateful for?". He thought for a minute and said "Yes, Mommy, there's one more thing."

I held my breath. I am not embarrassed to admit that my heart pounded a little faster as I braced myself for recognition from our son.

Connor said: "I'm thankful for the way God made me".

I'm consoling myself by saying that I got honorable mention on the gratefulness list this year. After all, I did provide the womb in which God formed him. :)

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

Better Late Than Never, Right?

Here are some very belated pictures of the kids (aka Cinderella and a KSU football player) in their Halloween costumes. We had a great time trick-or-treating...our good friends the Blakemores joined us for the candy run around our neighborhood. The second picture is of the kiddos on our front porch...we carved the Jack-o-Lanterns ourselves. Please note how "angry" Connor's jack-o-lantern is (he was very proud of the eyebrows we carved).

Both Connor and Kylee really got into this year...they cried out "Trick-or-Treat!" the moment someone opened the door, and often times concluded their visit to the house with "Have a Happy Halloween!".

We came home with buckets full of candy that we are still working on. We're at that point now where all that's left is what Brandon calls the "fruity stuff" (translation=not chocolate), but we keep it for those days when we need a little extra incentive for the children or a sweet treat for ourselves. :)

Cute Conversations

A precious conversation with my son:

Me: Wow, Connor, you guys already have a lot of candy! I'm not sure you need to go Trick-or-Treating tomorrow night.

Connor: Well, Mom, we have to, because that's how God controls the world!

Translation: God has expressly ordained trick-or-treating and it would not be Ocotber 31st if there wasn't candy involved. We may have to work on some theology here, but on the other hand, most children would probably agree. :)

Soccer Season: It's a Wrap!

Connor has really enjoyed playing soccer this fall. As I've mentioned in a previous post, he played on a kindergarten team called the Lions through UpWard sports. Brandon graciously volunteered to coach the team, and they had a great season! They do not keep score at the kindergarten level, so we can't give you an exact record, but let's just say it was a learning year for this team. Here's Connor roaring to demonstrate what a true Lion he is:



Connor played with a great group of kids and had a great time learning a little about the game. Given his size, we figure he probably won't follow Daddy's footsteps as a football player, so we're happy that he has found another sport that he likes.

Connor won the "Most Improved" award at the closing banquet. He started the season spending a lot of time standing out on the field chewing on his jersey and getting really frustrated with himself for mistakes. He ended it being a fast runner and even getting a few good kicks in there. It was so much fun to watch him learn and grow as a player!! Thanks to the friends and family who came to watch a game...he enjoyed playing for an audience of cheering fans. :)


I also want to publicly express my gratitude to Brandon for coaching the team. Sometimes I encourage him to sign up for things that he isn't necessarily excited about (I PROMISE I said "he'll coach only if you're short"...guess we know how that turns out!)...especially when it's coaching a team for a sport that he's never played...but he always dives right in and does a wonderful job.


The kids LOVED their coach (one girl even came up and said "I love you, coach!" while hugging his leg at the last game), and Brandon's patience and dedication to helping make their experience a good one paid off. Most importantly, our son thought it was awesome to have his Daddy out on the field with him. Thanks, my dear!

Good season, team!

Some Good News...

Many of you may not know that despite receiving my Master's Degree in Nursing from KU 5 years ago, I had never taken the last step in getting certified as a Nurse Practitioner. This was primarily because when I graduated, I was 8 months pregnant with Connor and knew that working outside the home as a NP wouldn't be my top priority for quite some time...

So, I began my work at William Jewell with my Master's Degree, and then two years later, along came Kylee...

This summer, I realized that I had a desire to get my Family Nurse Practitioner certification. My husband and eternal supporter encouraged me to go for it. So, I submitted my application, we paid the testing fee and I scheduled my test for October 11th. I began studying in August.

I have to admit that I actually enjoyed studying. In this time of my life where my world centers around meeting the needs of my little ones, it was refreshing to educate myself in a field that I am passionate about. I learned many new things and expanded my horizons in the field of nursing through my studying.

Then came October 11th. The great thing about this test was that, if I didn't pass, I could continue my current work and no one would really know the difference. My fear of failure prevented me from telling many folks that I was sitting for the exam. The pressure I put on myself came from knowing that we had made an investment of time and money, and I really didn't want to disappoint my husband, my family, or honestly, myself.

I took the 175 question exam at a testing center in Lee's Summit. I felt well-prepared and felt that the exam was fair,but of course, it's never quite what you expect. I had been told that I would need to wait two weeks to receive my results in the mail. Ugh.

I walked out after completing the test to retreive my belongings out of the locker I had been assigned. The testing center proctor (kind of a strange bird) greeted me as I exited the testing room and said "Well, you really blew through that!" I am a fast test-taker, but that really isn't what I wanted to hear. Then she picked up a piece of paper off of the printer and said "Well, congratulations, you scored above and beyond what you needed to." I had no idea what she was talking about...or if she even knew what she was doing (recall that she was kind of a strange bird). She handed me the paper.

I looked down at it to see "Congratulations, you have passed the Family Nurse Practitioner Exam". Unreal.

So, I did it! What does this mean? That if I wanted to, I could work as a FNP in a clinic setting. If you've ever taken your sick child to the Pediatrician's office and seen a Nurse Practitioner, or seen one yourself at your Drs. office, that is what I am now certified to do. What do I want to do with it? Right now, I'd like to use my gifts to serve. I'm on the lookout for ministries that might be interested in using me as a volunteer in this capacity. We'll see what God has in store.

Oh, yes, and as some of you know, these accomplishments bring more alphabet soup into my life. My new credentials: Lindsey Carlson MSN, APRN, BC.

The kids still call me Mommy, though. :)