Prayers, Please...

Let me begin this post by telling you what an important part of our family my Grandpa is. Following my mother's death in 1999, he did everything he could to help us navigate life without Mom...financially, emotionally...all of it. He has taken care of all of us in so many ways both before and following her passing. His care for us has greatly surpassed the typical role of Grandpa as he has looked out for Sarah, Jordan, myself, and our families. Here he is with Connor preparing the Thanksgiving bird for the oven...his traditional role at our holiday gatherings.

As many of you know, Grandpa had two strokes following a heart catheterization procedure in January.

The last month has been extremely stressful as we've tried to make decisions about Grandpa's care while dealing with the uncertainties that stroke brings. Weighing heavily on our hearts is knowing what a proud and dignified man my Grandpa is and how QUALITY of life is much more important to him than quantity.

I have oscillated between anger, sadness, helplessness, peacefulness, anxiety, and frustration, which I suppose is normal.

In my lowest moments, I wonder why God has brought this experience to us. Doesn't He know that our numbers in this family are dwindling after the loss of both Mom and Grandma? Does He know that Grandpa would NEVER want to be dependent on others for walking, bathing, eating, and simply using the restroom? Is He aware how much Grandpa means to us?

Of course He is. Logically, I know this. Emotionally, I struggle. We spent Thanksgiving and Christmas together, and now, just a mere month and a half later, this?!?!?! It's a tough one to wrap your mind around.

My Uncle lives in Great Bend and is able to oversee the day-to-day aspects of Grandpa's progress in the hospital. Craig and I are the powers of attorney for Grandpa, which, quite frankly, is more responsibility than I want to face right now, but because Mom isn't here, it's how it has to be. I am thankful for the support of so many friends and family who have been more than willing to help in any way that they can. I am especially thankful for my husband, who, as always, has been there for me every step of the way.

Grandpa is currently on a rehabilitation unit at a hospital in Great Bend. In two weeks, they will transfer him off the rehab unit and are currently saying that he will need the kind of care that can only be provided in a nursing home. Ouch. In order to be moved anywhere else, he will need to make MIRACULOUS progress in the next 14 days. While his improvement is gradual, care providers are concerned that it isn't consistent enough...that he will need much more help than an in-home provider or an assisted living facility can provide. His ability to reason and problem-solve is signficantly impaired, which will make it impossible for him to be independent at this stage of the game.

It is for this miraculous progress that I am praying for, and I ask you to do the same if you think of it.

I would really like to have Grandpa with us preparing the bird for Thanksgiving 2008.

Also, I would invite you to tell a family member, TODAY, how much you love them. Because you just never know.

Thanks.