Haddie Lou

As I have mentioned before, Amanda came over and snapped some pictures of our family fairly soon after we brought Hadley home from the hospital. I believe Hadley was about 3 weeks old in these pictures. I had to share them with you....

This one is my absolute favorite, for many reasons. As you can see, my necklace has the names of all four kids on it. It means so much to me to be able to incorporate ALL our kiddos into one photo. I also love Hadley's face...pure, innocent...and a little chubby. Lastly, the word "blessed" was a perfect choice. We are so very blessed, not just by Hadley, but by Connor, Kylee, and Caden, too. We are amazed at God's goodness and how He has brought us through such a journey of pain and heartache, and is now restoring us daily with healing only He can provide. This photo, to me, symbolizes what is truly important in this world....and serves as a reminder that God is faithful...even in life's darkest times.

Hugs and kisses from Mom and Dad:

And, of course, brother and sister, too:

Tiny toes...

Precious...

Our girl is doing well. She had her two month appointment at the Pediatrician yesterday and weighed in at 10 lbs. 10 oz. I am not too proud to admit that was good affirmation for me after the hours and hours I have spent breastfeeding. :) Despite being a Nurse who has given MANY shots to other people's children, I still cried when Hadley got her shots. She has done well, though, and I am grateful to have one round down.

Hadley's new tricks include noticing the contrast between dark and light, and, just this week, she has started recognizing faces (big smiles for brother and sister...little smiles for Mom and Dad). She is a noisy one (Daddy has nicknamed her Hootie) and is constantly "hooting" as she eats and sleeps (someone remarked one time as I was feeding her under a blanket "It sounds like there's a flock of geese under there!"). At night, she will sleep for a 4-5 hour stretch, and continues to do well at settling back in after eating...so really, no complaints there.

She is pretty tolerant, as it is rare for her to get a full nap between all the drop offs and pick ups that we do for big brother and sister. Sometimes we do the drop-offs with her screaming at the top of her lungs...I can empathsize...I'm cranky, too, when my sleep gets interrupted. She's not a big fan of the carseat, which makes life pretty interesting. Connor and Kylee are great binky helpers as we're riding around. :) They continue to love having Hadley around and haven't yet requested that we send her back.

It is crazy to believe that just two months ago, she was in my belly. I still spend quite a bit of time just watching her...and being amazed that God has allowed us to have her as a part of our family.

Love you, Baby Girl!

We Have a 5 Year Old, Folks!

Miss Kylee J turned 5 on September 9th.

Kylee requested a "Pinkalicious Party" to celebrate her special day. She also really wanted to invite Cinderella, who she had met at a friend's birthday party. So, we had perhaps the world's first Pinkalicious Cinderella birthday. Kylee always has very original, yet very precise, ideas about her birthday parties. We have really come to love her creativity with event planning.

Kylee and her friends had a great time with Cinderella (who, when she isn't making social calls, is a teacher in the local school district).

Cinderella helped the party crowd make royal crowns. She and Kylee created one especially for Brandon.

Kylee and her party guests outside having bubble time with Cinderella. Notice the wardrobe theme?

Instead of a birthday cake, Kylee wanted cotton candy (pink, of course). So, the kids enjoyed cotton candy with their pink lemonade as a snack. Kylee very specifically requested that we NOT sing Happy Birthday to her. For some reason, it overwhelms her. So, we left that part out of the celebration.

Cinderella helped Kylee open a few presents before she had to leave:

It was a very special day for our little princess.

Kylee is such a blessing to us in so many ways. Her passion for life is contagious...and this girl's smile will light up a room like no one else's will. She works hard to succeed at everything that she does and is fiercely loyal to her family (she is the only one entitled to pick on her big brother). She lives life to its fullest and inspires us to do the same. We are blessed to have her with us.

Best wishes for many, many more, Miss J!

Back To School...

It's crazy that we are in the midst of our third week of school. Where does the time go (interesting how time takes on a whole new dimension when days and nights essentially mesh into one). :)

Connor and Kylee have really enjoyed school so far this year. They both have great teachers, Mrs. Hodge (Connor) and Ms. Pam (Kylee). We have heard great things about Mrs. Hodge, and Kylee was in Ms. Pam's class last year, so we are excited to be back with her. Kylee is now in the Pre-K class, which means she goes to school all day and even gets to "eat lunch and take a rest" before I pick her up. She is excited to be in the big leagues. Our big first grader, Connor, was a little less enthused about school starting, but has adjusted well to the routine.

The first day of school pictures have become tradition around our house. Both of the kids had new outfits from Grandma and Grandpa Carlson. They were excited to put on their new school gear, too...Princesses and GI Joe. I'm not sure what the wave is all about, but it was essential...whatever the purpose was.

Here are the kids outside their classrooms, and by their cubbies:

Both of the kids have several of their friends from last year in their class, which is great. They both settled right in as we prepared to say goodbye:

The first day of school this year went much more smoothly than it did last year. I remember walking away from dropping Connor off at his first day of kindergarten and being consumed with sadness because both of our kids were in school and I had no baby at home with me. I was supposed to be pushing a stroller down the sidewalk when I walked away....this year, walking away with a carseat in tow reminded me of God's faithfulness and goodness. Two kids in school, blessed to have good teachers and great friends...a wonderful summer filled with lots of fun...and a new little pink bundle to cuddle with.

Life is good.

Life With Three

Sweet sisters

Sacked out siblings.

Oh, Daddy...

Both of the kids had their Back to School open houses this week. Kylee is overjoyed at the thought of returning to preschool and practically pranced from room to room as we visited her teachers. Eight of the twelve kids from her class last year will be together again this year. She is excited and ready to go!

Connor, on the other hand, is a bit more reserved at the prospect of being a first grader. I must admit that it was a little weird to walk down the FIRST GRADE hall at Doniphan tonight. We met his teacher, and I think she's going to be great. He was happy to see that some of his best buds from last year will be in class again this year.

The end of summer is, well, the end of summer. The kids are growing a bit tired of each other, the pool has lost its luster, the library isn't as exciting as it once was, and most days, it's just too hot and humid to go outside. Add into that that my energy level is about nil right now, and you have a ton of fun. The kids have been very patient and have done really well with life just needing to focus on Hadley right now.

I was reflecting on how school started at a good time...here is a glimpse of our day today...

Connor and Kylee decided to play in the hose for awhile this afternoon. Kylee came in to change clothes and I noticed that she had her underwear on backwards. I commented on this, to which she replied (quite sassy-like and disrespectfully) that she wasn't going to turn them around. I sent her to the step for a time out. Of course, I am feeding Hadley at this time, so Kylee has to put herself on the step (I have often wondered if the impact of time out is lost when you don't physically plunk the child down on the step...but you gotta do what you gotta do). Kylee marches herself to the step, wearing only her backwards underwear. About 5 minutes later, I call her into the family room (I am still feeding Hadley). She sasses me again and has no sooner gotten off the step before she's sent back to it. After time out #2, we reach an agreement. She goes to change and comes out of the bathroom with her underwear on not only backwards, but also inside out. I give up.

A couple hours later, we are getting ready to leave for Connor's Back to School night. I want to look presentable because, after all, this is the first time many of his schoolmates and their families will see Hadley. My daugher selects a pair of hot pink leggings and a pale pink tank top to wear. I decide it's not worth the battle to try to convince her that perhaps that isn't the best clothing combo I've seen as of late. I notice, as we are getting ready, that Kylee is not wearing any underwear at all. I ask her to please put underwear on. She tells me she doesn't want to, but obliges my request anyway. Back to the laundry room she goes to change.

We arrive at Connor's school. In the process of getting up to the school, Connor runs into Kylee with the stroller (it was an accident). We recover. We are perusing the gym and all the various tables of information there...I am feeling pretty good about getting all three kids out by myself (Brandon joins us after work). Connor looks at me and says "Mom, Kylee has her pants on inside out." Sure enough. Seam showing. Hot pink.

Oh, brother.

We made it through the open house. I am hoping that those who saw that Kylee's pants were on inside out also noticed us pushing a newborn baby in the stroller (I feel like we're entitled to a good three months of "newborn haze").

Life has changed, and once again, I realize that it's going to be awhile before I look like I have it all together (probably longer than 3 months). And that's okay.

I asked Connor tonight, "So, Buddy...why aren't you excited to go back to school?" He replied "Because I'll miss home."

That's what it's all about. Crazy as it might be, it's home. And we are so very, very blessed.

Announcements...

Amanda, a friend of ours from Church, came over last week to snap some photos of Miss Hadley. She then graciously created these announcements for us. I wanted to share them with you all. :)

Things are good here on the home front. Our baby girl is 3 weeks old today. She continues to be loved and adored by everyone here. Connor and Kylee kiss, love, and hold their baby sister regularly, and Brandon and I enjoy every moment of watching our three children interact and get to know each other. The kids have shared some great bits of wisdom with us...

Connor: "It must be great to be a baby. You don't have to do ANYTHING!"

Kylee: "She smells like strawberry jam." (Insert look of confusion on my face here) "That means that she's good."

Connor and Kylee start school next week, so we are soaking up the last bit of summer. Hope this finds you doing well, too!

Grateful

It's been a relatively quiet weekend here at the Carlson house. We have enjoyed time together as a family, made the requisite 12 trips to Target, and have, of course, spent hours loving on Hadley.

The past two weeks have been absolutely amazing. Each and every time I gaze at our newest daughter, I am overwhelmed by love and gratitude. I study her hands, her feet, her nose, her eyes, her soft hair....I listen to her grunts and sighs and feel her heart beating through her chest. I snuggle her close and inhale that new baby smell. I even marvel at her cute little bottom with each diaper change. I can't believe she is here.

My mother-in-law stayed with us all last week and it was wonderful to have her help. We took the kids to have their pictures taken and once again, I was a bit overwhelmed with emotion as I watched our three children together...a picture I have longed to see for a long time. I am so grateful that we have been allowed to experience this miracle of new life, and at the same time, the hurt in my heart for those families, like ours, who don't get to bring their babies home with them is still strong. In each moment of joy, I feel led to pray for those families who are in the midst of their pregnancies with a terminally ill baby...or for those who have just found out that their babies will go to heaven instead of coming here to be with them...or for those who have just held their babies for the first and last time...all in one day. My heart is with them.

Connor and Kylee are doing quite well in the roles of big brother and sister. My new catch phrase is "give her some space" as they love to be directly in Hadley's face. :) They are overcome with excitment during the 15 minutes of the day where she is actually alert. Connor has already read stories to her, and Kylee loves to help dress and bathe her. It is such a blessing to watch them interact.

This week will be the first week that I ride herd on the children all by myself. The usual amount of apprehension accompanies this...but I am also flooded with joy and gratitude that I have a baby here to take care of. The house, laundry, meals, and personal hygiene will take care of themselves...for now, I am enjoying every moment of holding and loving on our little miracle.

More Pictures of the Big Day

Here are a few more pictures of The Big Day. First, we started out by checking into the hospital at 7:00am. Yep, it was an early start for all of us...thus, the kiddos are in pajamas:







Things got rolling around 11:00am, and Lindsey (the ROCK STAR pregnant lady) impressed one and all by bringing Hadley to us in just three pushes! She's an incredible woman! Anyway, here's little Hadley being mad at the indignity of it all:





Once she got cleaned up and warmed up, she was much happier. If you recall from the 3D sonogram, she loved having her hands right up next to her face, or even in her mouth. Looks like she still does:







Here's Jeane, the world's best midwife. She blessed us with her expertise and care for all three of our healthy babies, and spent much of her day off with us on Tuesday. Thanks, Jeane, you're one in a million!







Little Hadley had a long day, too. This is in the evening as she was getting sleepy. Naturally, she perked up throughout the night:






Some pictures of the family:

Connor and Kylee were the first ones in to see their baby sister, and immediately adored her. It was incredible to watch their smiles and their gentle touches. Ever since that first moment, they have been arguing (even to the point of shouts and blows at times) about who's turn it is to hold her! We'll see how long that lasts...

Here's her official coming-home outfit:

We thought it was extremely cute, but she's not too sure about it.

Here we are, ready to head for home:

Once again, we thank you all for your love, prayers, gifts, food, well wishes, and support. The last year has been filled with incredible highs and devastating lows, and we would not have been able to get through it without all of you. We are very, very blessed, and look forward to creating another 'new normal'.

And sleep...we're looking forward to that, too... ;)

Here She Is!

At 3:18pm, we welcomed the newest member of the Carlson Crew, Hadley Louise Carlson, into this world!!!

6 pounds, 15 ounces, 18.5 inches long

We'll post more pictures in the next few days. Thank you for your prayers and support!

Tomorrow We Meet Her...

It is surreal to me that tomorrow morning, we will go to the hospital and begin the process of welcoming our baby girl into the world. This week has held a mix of emotions for me...anticipating Hadley, thinking about how our family is about to change, and, of course, grieving Caden as I reflect on all the milestones we've missed with him.

I find myself tearful fairly often...mostly because I am totally overwhelmed by God's grace and goodness and the gift that He has given us in this little girl. Hadley represents so much to us...healing, hope, resolution...and we'll get to hold her....tomorrow.

So, today is my last day of being pregnant. Again, a bit surreal. I feel this little one moving inside me and have mixed emotions about her being on the outside instead of the inside. While it will be nice to breathe normally, perhaps wear clothes without an elastic waistband (still several months away, I know), and maybe make it at least 15 minutes in between runs to the bathroom to pee, I will miss all the kicks, nudges, and tickles that new life in your belly brings. I know, though, that the sadness of missing that will be outweighed by the joy of watching Miss Hadley grow and explore the world around her. I also cannot wait to see her in her Daddy's arms, and to watch her brother and sister's faces as they meet her. :) I am happy to share.

Connor is very excited about Hadley's arrival. He has been counting the days for the last two weeks, and his face lights up when he talks about Hadley "being born". The first thing he told me this morning is that Hadley was going to be born in just ONE DAY! It was great. I know he will be an excellent big brother...no better man to have two sisters as his siblings.

Kylee, however, while excited, is responding a bit differently to the anticipated change. She has been a bit of a pill this week, mostly, I think, because she senses that something new is coming (and she's not real big on change). She, too, is excited to meet Hadley, but I think there is a part of her that fears that we might not get to bring this baby home. She guards her heart...but I look forward to the moment when she can let go and hold a healthy baby...a moment I have anticipated since finding out Hadley was on the way.

We enjoyed our weekend together...our last one as the four of us. We attended a Royals game on Friday night, did school shopping for the kids on Saturday, and then had a special dinner out together on Saturday night (Connor decided that "fancy" restaurants are entirely overrated). Sunday was spent attending Church and relaxing. I enjoyed my last uninterrupted Sunday afternoon nap for quite awhile. It was heaven!

We, once again, humbly ask for your prayers tomorrow. Please pray for our labor, and, of course, for a safe and healthy delivery. Please lift up Connor and Kylee as they deal with a positive, yet big, change in their world. And please pray for Brandon and I as we become parents to Baby #4.

We are so very grateful to be at this point...after such a sad year and then a pregnancy filled with apprehension and doubt, and eventually joy, tomorrow is the culmination of many things for us. We will be posting updates here, so feel free to check in and celebrate with us.

We have so much to be joyful about.

"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works: that I know very well."

Psalm 139:14

Two Weeks...

We meet our baby girl in just over 2 weeks! We are all so excited. There has been a great deal of discussion around our house about bringing Hadley home with us. The kids are thrilled, yet I also sense a bit of hesitation in their hearts surrounding this event...as if they won't believe that she's coming home until we actually have her here. I can't say as I blame them for that. They are both asking that we pray for Hadley to arrive safely in their bedtime prayers...I wish that somehow, this baby girl could know how loved and anticipated she is.

My appointments have gone well...Hadley is measuring appropriately and has plenty of fluid around her. We opted for an induction given that the hospital we will deliver at is several miles from our house...and we also wanted to be able to plan things, somewhat, so our family (even those that live far away) could be sure to be here when she arrives. There has been enough uncertainty surrounding all of this, so we are grateful to have a date on the calendar. July 21st it is.

I have been grateful that it wasn't too hot last week. My belly is definitely growing on a daily basis and sometimes just walking is a bit of a task...the kids (and my wonderful husband) are very understanding and bear with me. My emotions are getting stronger as the day approaches...I am so ready to hold this little one in our arms and am overwhelmed by the love that I feel for her. I cannot wait to hear her first cry and look at her pink face all bundled up in a blanket. There are so many small moments that I anticipate after not getting to have them with Caden. My perspective on Hadley's arrival is totally changed...I believe for the better.

We have tried to discuss what life is going to be like after the baby arrives...Connor, in particular, is used to going a million miles a minute, so we have felt it is important for him to understand that after Hadley is born, most days, we will spend time together here at home. He's not quite sure why we can't just haul Hadley with us wherever we go, but for the most part, is very understanding and accepting. I would imagine that Kylee will just love having a baby here to play with and she generally just wants to stay home most days, anyway, so I pray the adjustment will be a smooth one.

We talked about Hadley's birthday over lunch today. I was telling Connor and Kylee that they will be the first ones to hold their sister after Daddy and Mommy. Connor was asking about when she would be born, what time of day it would be, and so forth. I haven't yet had to field the question about how Hadley will come into the world...but we got dangerously close today....

Me: "You will come back to our house with Grandma and Grandpa because Mommy will have to stay a couple nights in the hospital after Hadley is born".

Connor: "Oh, is that so they can make sure that the patch they make for Hadley to be born gets fixed up okay?"

Me: "Yes. Exactly."

Whew! So far, so good...